It GeTs BeTtEr

I've never been excellent or outstanding at anything. Grew up admiring the girl that tops the class or that average student that stands out in art, dance, sports or whatever. Growing up you’d think I was trying my best to keep my head down, be invisible. I desperately wanted to be noticed or at least be excited about something of value. I remember wishing i could draw like picasso, write like hemmingway or be a kickass dancer, anything but NO. My art teacher once said to me and i quote "timid and simply untalented." When I was 15 I auditioned for my high school’s choir and I made first cut. That was my most exciting achievement at the time but even in the choir my voice was basic in my opinion. There was nothing special about it, it was an averagely nice voice. I was excited about it for a while though but got bored by the idea that I had a gifted voice eventually.

Today I am a preschool teacher. Well actually I run a pre-school and teach too. I love the classroom, I enjoy children, I wake up exited, well most days :p I have that superhuman attitude, I feel invincible like I can do ANYTHING, I feel free, I feel appreciated , needed, celebrated and loved. Too many ‘’I’’s :p Well I was born to do this.

One of my clients told me the other day that “there is a bible according to teacher Zoe” It’s a figure of speech. What she meant was that her son Jonathan wants to do everything the way I teach him to. I smiled with a melting heart, I can’t quite describe the feeling but any teacher that takes the time to create a bond with her students or pupils will get this.

I was a kid that grew up with no power or influence, I felt

like I had to scream, rumble, turn tables over to be heard or noticed and even then I wouldn't be but it gets better. Today I am an influencer, it happened when I wasn't trying too hard to be. I have the opportunity to shape little minds.

One of these days you are going to be that person everyone thinks is a freak because of your passion, you will be that professional clients demand to work with.

I've been a teacher a little over two years now and Lord knows there have been and will be lots of challenges, I've cried over the challenges that come with my job and in moments of anger I've even considered quitting, YES. The reward I get from what I do is worth all the pain, NO, the pain is nothing compared to the reward. I have an identity. I'm no Creflo Dollar or Donald Trump. I'm not saying "I'm all that, not even close." The thing you love will find you or you will find it and then you won't feel like you are just dragging through life asking yourself what the point is. You won't be so timid any more J

my love

we judge people,
we judge their situations,
their choices,
just about everything.
i never really understood you.
one day you were here,
the next you were gone.
You were my strength.
You made me feel safe,
with you i smiled with my eyes,
oh ive forgotten how to smile.
my heart it hurts,the pain,i could rip it out.
You never said goodbye
but now i know you must've really loved me.
ive walked a mile in your shoes
its not easy to say goodbye
and to stay away for so long
but for me you did.
praying and longing for the day i get to be with you again.

freindship

some one once told me,when you feel a freindship go astray,concetrate on the things that brought you together to try and find your way back.

lately im failling to relate with my freinds.we have less and less to talk about.we've all ventured out into different things,we've certaintly changed alot

but some how i always thought that nomatter how much we changed,we'd never loose each other.change is sometimes a good thing.the experiences we go

through are what make us into the people we are.so i guess experience forces us to change......

into stronger,wiser deeper,more hardworking etc

point is i love some or most of the things we've changed into,i just dont want these changes to pull us apart.so i guess i'll try what that person once told

me coz i love ma freinds much as i love the change.i hope we find our way back